Alexander vs. Darius

Club Bowler Wargaming Centre
Alexander the Great: Nick
Darius the Dill: Cameron

Victory is achieved by eliminating / routing a single opposing heavy infantry unit (Phalanx / Hoplite)

Thus it came about that I, Emperor Darius, surveyed yet another dusty battlefield from atop my golden command chariot. A whole lot of flatness out there. Flatter than Bignose the Byzantine after the Imperial elephants finished with him.

Alexander the upstart was knocking on my empire’s door, once again. The little nuisance had a formidable force of …greeks…over there. Why couldn’t he just bugger off back home? Didn’t he realise that the Persian Empire was all powerful?

Clearly not. Only this morning, Leonordis, the royal fan waver, hissed in my ear that there were rumours flying around the camp that Alexander had a terrible ‘itch’. When I queried Leonordis about this affliction he only grunted and his skinny arms flapped the palm frond fan so violently that I may have just as well have been standing on Mount Sinai in the face of a raging Shamal. To long spent with the Zoroastrians does that to you. I’m starting to think they use hallucinogenics in their smoke.

At a loss as to whether Alexander suffered from an anatomical or strategic ‘itch’ I summoned a council of war.

Signortia, commander of the Hoplites was first to speak. “There are an awful lot of Greeks over yonder, my lord”
“Specifically what type of Greeks, Signortia?”, huffed I. A recurring fault of the Persian Empire was its inability to produce any meaningful military minds. Soft succulent servile female companions, yes. Kick ‘em in the teeth, rip out their guts grizzled, gap-toothed warriors, no.

“Phalanx’s and such, my lord. Companions.”
Puzzling…“Oh, they have female company as well?”
“No my lord, I am led to believe that Alexander prefers male companions. Dressed in armour. On a horse.”
Mind boggling stuff. Greeks. What could you say?
Still, there was the small matter of tomorrow’s battle.
“So Signortia, our hoplites can deal with matters adequately I trust?”
“No my lord.”
“NO?”
“Unfortunately, my lord, there is nothing in our current army that can face off against the Phalanx’s.”
“NONE?”“No my lord. The phalanx’s might be dressed in skirts and be commanded by a known shirt lifter but they have long spears and heavy armour. We would be overwhelmed in short order. All would be lost. A terrible curse –“
“Yes, alright, I have the picture, thank you Signortia”
Clearly the Persian army wasn’t where it should be. Haven’t our generals heard of benchmarking? What do they do all day, polish their helmets and wax their leotards?
“And what, pray tell, Signortia, would you advise we do?”
“Run away, my lord. They may be Greek poofters but they are poofters with long spears.”
Mmmm…


So it came to pass that as the dawn sun rose in the east I, Darius, took charge of matters and arrayed our mighty forces.
“Signortia, position your Hoplites on the right and as soon as the bugle blows march them sideways as far as you can before forming into a tight defensive position.”
“Sideways, m’Lord?” he muttered, squinting at me.
“Yes sideways you miserable cheese eating surrender monkey. Do as you are bloody well told.”
“Of course, my lord.” He replied, bobbing his head, “Sideways it shall be”. More bobbing. A noticeable cringing about the edges.
Bob away you little turd for by tonight your head will be rolling in the dirt looking for a pair of shoulders to sit upon.
I cast my mind back to business.
“Speedatorium”, the cavalry commander, “I ask only that you put all your light cavalry on the left and all your heavy cavalry on the right”
Speedatorium, apparently suffering from squinters disease as well, peered in my direction.
“Split my command in two, oh wise one?”
“That’s right. Tell them all to gallop around the flanks of the phalanx’s and hit them in the rear. Your horsemen are our only hope. The gods of Fire will be with you all.”
“Yes, oh wise one. It shall be done.”
“Excellent. Proceed.” Good, at last somebody who knows what he is about.

Right, that wasn’t hard. Now where is Leonordis? All this commanding is getting me hot and bothered. Perhaps some olive oil applied by a few winsome slippery royal consorts might help.

Mid morning arrived. All the tedious military formation positioning and repositioning had been completed. Both armies faced each other. I was oiled and ready. All that was needed was the sound of a bugle. I waved my hand and the bugle blared it’s siren call.

Persians (black) and the Greeks (red).

I have to say that it went exceedingly well and according to my master plan. For, oh…, say five, maybe ten minutes. Such was my joy and that of those accompanying me that I immediately ordered wine and food to celebrate.

How presumptuous of me. The God of Fire hissed, sputtered and fizzled out well before any refreshments could arrive. Watching from my chariot I was forced to order all priests and other soothsayers put to the sword, if only to quench my anger at the inadequacy of the entire Persian army.

Signortia, commanding the Hoplites dutifully stomped off sideways only to metamorphose into some kind of self-induced Mesopotamian traffic jam. There were hoplites marching in all directions, becoming more tangled and twisted than the hanging gardens of Babylon.

Speedatorium’s Light Cavalry, attempting to swing around the left flank of the Greeks only succeeded in banging headlong into the entire Greek cavalry force which proceeded to chop them into pieces.

The Heavy Cavarly actually managed to penetrate past the right flank but when ordered to turn in on the rear of the Greek Phalanx’s they rode off into the desert on some kind of wide sweeping arc that encompassed all of Asia Minor. Apparently, so I was told later, Speedatorium got a good deal on horses from Flaky Phil the Philistine at Damascus last summer. Wonderful horses. Strong and fast.

In a straight line.

Try cornering your mount on one of Flakies prize steeds and you’d still be at it by sundown. Bloody horses couldn’t turn.

What a debacle. With all lost and the smelly greeks bearing down on our confused mess of Hoplites I ordered a general retreat. There is one thing that we Persians excel at.

Running.

End of the battle. Greeks (red) bearing down on the hoplites in the corner. Persian Heavy cavalry moving around to the rear of the Greek Phalanx's via Turkey and Afghanistan. Persian light cavalry on the left flank decimated.

Camp Cromwell 13/11/07

Maharajah Elimination Final 2: Barrie's British Guards v. James' Grenadiers - LW Encounter

(Continued from last week). Barrie sent his surviving "armour" - his HMG carriers forward on his right and attacked the Stugs with his Commandoes. The Commandoes took out 2 Stugs and the others withdrew to pick on easier meat - the HMG carriers. Two platoons of HMG carriers took a lot of killing but eventually all the German firepower reduced both platoons to just 1 or 2 Carriers. Barrie withdrew the survivors to preclude platoon loses. The Germans didn't feel confident to attack & the Brits advanced very cautiously. Eventually, the Allied Air took out the Stugs one by one to force an Army Morale Test that the Germans failed.
Barrie goes into the 2nd Semi Final v. the loser of SteveJ v. Nick.
James is eliminated.

Maharajah Elimination Final 1: SteveP's Strelkovy v. Byron's Aukschwadron - LW Breakthrough

After an agonisingly slow deployment the battle finally got under way. Both sides did a bit of long range sniping without great effect while Steve moved a Strlk towards the rear objective & Byron waited for his flanking force to arrive. When it did he hit the Strelk with everything & all but anhilated it. But Steve's T34s rushed over to help & the Gods joined in to destroy the flanking force completely & secure the rear objective. Byron then resorted to a direct assault on the front objective with Panzer Grens & A/cars. They cleared a hole in the line, but the Gods & T34s took their toll & the attack ran out of steam.
Steve goes into the 1st Semi Final v. the loser of Jim v. Mark.
Byron is eliminated.

Camp Cromwell 06/11/07

Battle of Isdonisgrad Concluded

We resumed on the Axis' 10th turn. Following their regroup after stomping on some Fucilieri last turn the 3 remaining KVs were grouped so all fitted under a template. The Guastatori moved up within assault range and Gandini pointed every tube they had at the Bolshie behmoths. The Italian 100's fired first, ranged in, hit the two unbailed ones, both threw 1's for armour saves, firepower killed one & bailed one. The 105's, 75's, heavy mortars & MkIVs all missed. But the Guastatori passed tank terror, got some hits & the 3 bailed KV crews were captured. That was the critical moment of the battle - the loss of the KVs stopped the Bolshie attack & removed their chance of overunning the Ities. But the Axis didn't have time to take the Russian objectives either so the batttle petered out into the artillery picking off targets of opportunity - with the Axis doing rather better out of it.

At then end of turn 12 nightfall ended the battle. Under the campaign rules this made it a draw, but the Axis as the attackers must fall back & the Russians hold Isdonosgrad. Both sides can get 1/3 of their losses as stragglers are rounded up, slightly wounded patched up, and equipment salvaged. It is now the Russian's campaign turn 2.

The pic is taken from behind the Axis right. The dead KV platoon is on the far left.

Except from the Gandini Papers:

Isdonisgrad
8 Sept 1942

Herr Hitler,

I am pleased to report that Isdonisgrad is a now graveyard for the Bolshevik army. Their dead infantry are piled high, their batteries and their mighty KV tanks are smoking heaps of junk.

My plan was to hold our left flank with the Fucilieri while the Grenadiers and Panzers smashed the Russian left. As expected, the Bolsheviks made a ferocious attack on the Fucilieri Coy with massed infantry supported by KVs. The Italians fought like Lions, giving ground to draw the Bolshevik tanks into range of our guns. The Italian artillery softened them up and a counterattack by the Guastatori finished them off. Without their tanks to hide behind the Bolshviks turned to water and their attack petered out.

Meanwhile on our right the Bosheviks ran in panic before the Panzers. Only nightfall and fast running saved the Bolshek army from destruction.

In order to minimise casualties to our irreplaceable infantry I did not launch a direct assault on Isdonisgard itself. But while Isdonisgrad has not yet fallen, I have achieved my objective of weakening the Bolshevik army. Overnight I am regrouping our forces.

Saluti,
Gandini

Maharajah 2007 EF2

James' Gernadiers v. Barries' British Guard Rifles
2000 pts LW Encounter battle.

Both sides dug in on their objectives, but James bravely sent his Tigers forward on their own to wreak havoc on the British artillery. The Typhoons failed dismally to stop them, as did 2 so called Tank Destroyers - which the Tigers disposed of. Barrie's armour arrived and his Firefly took on and beat the Tigers. But James' Stugs were also rushed forward as soon as they arrived and the Firefly ran out of luck - as did two of the Shermans. The British armour is reduced to just 1 bailed up Sherman (which did at least pass morale), but the Germans have 4 Stugs left & thats' the only serious armour left on the table. Casulties to the artillery and infantry also favour the Germans at this stage. Time ran out & the battle was adjourned until next Tuesday.

The pic shows the Tigers emerging from a smokescreen to take on the Tank Destroyers.

Camp Cromwell 30/11/07

Isdonisgrad continues

The usual incompetent Russian staffwork meant we had a late start after they turned up without the extra troops needed & had to go home & get them.

When the battle finally got underway, the Russian reinforcements came on so thick & fast on the Italian left flank they couldn't find space for them on the table. The 1st Fucilieri were overwhelmed, but the victorious Strelkovy were then too scared of Axis firepower to come out of the woods. Russian Anti-tank guns took on the MkIIs but the MkIIs won with a bit of help from mortars & Guastatori. But the gunners got lucky before the end and took some invaluable Guastatori with them.

On the other flank, the Panzers arrived eventually and the Militia on the Russian left were retreated off the table to cut their losses (one wonders what Uncle Joe's going to say when he hears about that manoeuvre - what happened to Not One Step Back ?)

Meanwhile the KVs advanced relentlessly on the Italian centre. One was destroyed by the 100s, another bailed by the 105s. But they destroyed the 2nd Fucilieri & the Itie anti-tanks guns, while the 3rd Fucilieri fell back before them with heavy losses.

While all this was going on, the artillery of both sides blasted away, mostly ineffectually, but with an occasional big hit.

When we adjourned again, it was the end of turn 9 & the battle remains in the balance. The KVs are close to the Itie objective, but they are on their own as the Strelkovy were too scared of the MkIIs, HMGs & artillery to come up in support, while the MkIVs have been turned left & are racing to assist the Ities. A decisive result is unlikely with both sides' rights being too strong to lose, but the attrition could be significant either way in the end. The KVs are the key - they have dominated the battle so far - but how long can they survive the relentless artillery barrage ?

Isdonisgrad Campaign: Battle of Isdonosgrad

The Ivans (Nick & MarkO) have a Guard Strelkovy Coy & a Militia Coy deployed around Isdonisgrad with a Strelkovy Coy coming on as reinforcements on their right. The Axis (Jim as CIC) ) are attacking with Fucilieri (Barrie) & Grenadiers (SteveJ) with Panzers (Byron) coming on as reinforcements behind their right.

The battle opened with much digging in and an artillery duel. Gandini was rather miffed by lousy 8 Million Bayonets dice and finding his calculations on the artillery balance upset by the Ivans having an extra battery from an Assault Platoon. The Ivans managed to get dug in and on target first but did not capitalise on it. The first German reinforcement came on turn 3 & was a 105 battery. The Gods hit it immediately, but Byron saved both hits & also unpinned immediately. The Ities gave up on digging-in and joined in pounding back at the Gods. The 100's, 105's & Heavy Mortars took out 4 guns in a turn & suddenly the balance shifted a bit back to the Axis.

On turn 4 the Axis got no more reinforcements, but the Ivans got two Platoons. There wasn't enough troops at Camp Cromwell available so the battle was adjourned until next week when the Ivans will get their act together & bring some more.

At this stage the Axis have lost just 1 100mm gun while the ivans have lost 5 big guns, 4 a/tank (from the Itie 75's) & 2 Infantry. The Militia on the Bolshie left is looking a bit shaky, but on the other flank the Fucilieri are facing a wall of Bolshies & more coming. Next week it's going to get very intersting.

Fascist Cowards!!!!!!!!!!

Comrade Stefanovich fowarded this authentic picture of the battlefield, taken by a brave brother in a sturmovick. It shows the overwhelming effect that the Russian spirit had on the defilers of the motherland.

The fascist pigs have editted this picture for use in their bulletins. But they cannot hide the truth.

Fascists Routed!!!!!!!!

The Proletariat Defence Council is pleased to announce a glorious victory over the Hitlerites near Isdonisgrad.

A concerted attack by massed fascist forces was mounted on brave defenders of the motherland. Many heroes were gunned down by fascist heavy tanks as they tried to stem the tide of evil. But their sacrifice was not in vain -- they slowed down the forces of evil. Meanwhile, the heroic defenders of Myskina rushed to the battlefield. Their arrival totally diconcerted the evil fascists. When they saw the peoples militia, manned by the mothers and workers of the glorious socialist republics, the fascists realised that they could not defeat the Russian spirit, and started to withdraw. The withdrawal turned into a rout, with Russian light tanks pursuing the fascists and gunning them down as they fled -- a just retribution for the evil they had inflicted.

Camp Cromwell 16/10/07

Isdonisgrad Campaign Battle in Hex I6 continued:

German Grenadiers & Panzer Grenadiers (Jim, SteveJ & Byron)
v.
Russian Strelkovy & Tankovy (Nick, MarkO, SteveP & Dillon)

SteveJ's 38ts stormed forward on the German left with Grenadiers in support.
Nick's KVs slowly advanced on the Russian left skirting the 88's zone of death. The rest of his tanks slowly moved to the right over the rough ground.
Meanwhile, the artillery, rockets, airforces & mortars pounded away at each other.
The 38ts were hit hard by Sturmovics, but they still destroyed most of a Strelkovy Plat, the few remainders stepping off the table to escape.
A Panzer platoon came on on the Germans left as the vanguard of a Panzer Coy arriving as reinforcement, but next turn a Gods of War Battery turned up on the German right flank as the advance guard of a Strelkovt Coy.
The Germans decided the risk of catastrophe was too great, conceded the battle and instigated the Campaign Retreat Rule. As they retreated the artillery & Sturmovics picked off a Pak 40 & an 88 while the Luftwaffe took out some the newly arrived Gods of War.

German casualties:
2 38t
1 Pak 40
1 88
3 neblewerfers (cmmd & obs survived)
2 HMG
3 Grenadiers
1 Panzer Grenadier

Russian casualties:
2 Guns from the Mysinka force
3 Guns from Mark's force
13 Inf & 1 HMG from one Strelk Plat (Mark's)
1 Kat & 1 loader team (Nick's)
1 Heavy Mortar (Nick's)

Some of the Germans (SteveJ) wanted to fight on, but General Gandini is never happy to be outgunned & was pretty happy to conceed defeat while avoiding serious loss.
Casualties in the Campaign after two battles (one minor victory each) are pretty even. A decisive battle is yet to come. Maybe Isdonisgrad next week will be different.

Except from Gandini papers:

Isdonisgrad
8 Sept 1942

Herr Hitler,

This morning’s action at Ivansixski went perfectly to plan. The 2nd Grenadiers and Panzergrenadiers drew the main part of the Bolshevik horde into battle then executed a skilfull withdrawal. Our losses are slight while the Ivans have lost many guns and most of a Strelkovy Platoon.

With the main part of the Bolshevik army pinned down at Ivansixski, Isdonisgrad is ripe for the plucking. As I write our brave Fucilieri and Grenadiers are preparing to attack.


Your humble servant,

Gandini